i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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