Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
