Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
