im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
