I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
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I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
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Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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