Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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