We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
