Midget sex pt 2 tonight
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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