I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize