my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
