Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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