What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
