I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize