whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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