next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
