and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
ttyl tear gas
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
