I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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