my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
