and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You don't make any sense
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