i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
that's an acceptable place to lick
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
