Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
