im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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