HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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