ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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