Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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