This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
not ubering you a puppy
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
