I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you traded sex for a burrito?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
