Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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