i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize