she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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