went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
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If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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