Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize