you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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