You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
third nipple confirmed
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
