I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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