he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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