We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
