i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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