I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
