i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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