mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
