FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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