I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night