i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
