Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
