Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
