we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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