tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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