It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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