Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
