what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize