I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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