As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Sorry my hands just texted you
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
