He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I think we might need a safe word for this...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
