scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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