Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
