What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
