just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
