sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
do nipples grow back?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
