I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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