normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Randomize
