So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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