i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
