i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
