dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I fill condoms, not promises.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
