So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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