I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
