That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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