He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize